Over the last few months, I’ve written about different methods to change viewpoints, mindsets, beliefs to get unstuck in life. The Living Accidentally series on ways to live a life with purpose. The It’s Okay series to accept how we currently think and shift to the next level of thinking. All the articles are written with one idea in mind: to see and act outside our current views.

Honestly, all this stuff is already out on the internet, written better and more concisely. Mark Manson and James Clear are a couple of my favorite writers who I try to emulate and their stuff is incredible. A lot of my articles were inspired by them.

I write not to come up with something new, but to help me articulate and organize my thoughts. I hope for the side effect to be that someone who may be like me, would benefit from my writing. Not because it’s amazing or new, but because it comes from a person who is also struggling. I am far from being an established writer, or even knowing what the hell I’m doing.

When I read Mark Manson or James Clear’s material, I can’t help but think “why can’t I be as thoughtful and articulate as them?” Or “why can’t I put their advice into practice?” Which then leads to “why can’t I take my own advice?!”

What’s holding me back?

It’s not the lack of information, because we’ve established that it’s available. It’s a click away via newsletters, articles, YouTube, Instagram. As I’ve been writing, and struggling to use self-improvement techniques to alter my current course, I came to realize there might be a single concept why I haven’t adjusted.

The decision is mine.

I believe many of us feeling stuck are waiting for a life altering point. Like in a time traveling movie, a point in time that creates a separate timeline, completely different from the one we are living today.

The reason why I’m still on my same course is because I haven’t accepted the hard, uncomfortable truth.

The decision is mine.

Understanding this simple phrase is the beginning of the life altering point I’ve been searching for. It’s the one decision I can make that impacts the entire day, and eventually my life. It’s not deciding which self-improvement technique to apply. The first step is to decide that any decision I make is mine.

It can be applied to everything. I decided to snooze and sleep in. I decided to eat toast for breakfast. I decided to fall into a social media rabbit hole. I decided to accept that meeting. I decided to decline that invitation. I decided to get angry while driving in traffic. I decided to learn something new. I decided to read. I decided to act. I decided not to.

Understanding and accepting that the decision is mine leads to an unavoidable truth: I decided to be where I am today. If I’ve been wanting to alter my course, but have not, it’s because the decision was mine not to.

Let this sink in.

Before beginning any self help techniques (like meditating, journaling, being grateful, not comparing, starting small, the list is endless), take a moment to understand how powerful this one statement can be.

The decision is mine.

Initially, there may be negative feelings attached with this realization. Accepting that the decision is mine erases the easy method of blaming others or events for things gone wrong. Blame is a defense mechanism to protect our egos. This is a normal, natural response. We all want to protect ourselves.

The danger of blame is that it gives away our responsibility. It strips us of our ability, our power to make a difference. But if I want to make a difference in my own life, I am responsible.

The decision is mine.

Now just because you are reading this, doesn’t mean that you will understand and accept this right away. Even after accepting the concept, the urge, consciously or not, to blame outside events when things don’t go our way, will be forever present. Often times, we have no control over the way some things happen. But the decision is mine, in how I react to it. It will be a constant engagement of the mind to live this concept.

Personally, it took years to begin to accept this. I may have heard it, but didn’t understand it. I may have understood it, but never accepted it. It’s why I’ve felt no matter what I read or wrote, I never got off the path I was on. I was on a loop, living the same day with the same mindset.

If you’re like me, you’ve been living on the same life course for many years. This course has all the power of time, momentum, and habits behind it. It’s like a rocket that’s been flying in one direction for years. Trying to alter the rocket’s trajectory is not a simple turn of a wheel. A rocket changes course by using thrusters to deploy bursts of air. And even then, it’s course adjustment isn’t seen immediately. It’s only seen over the entire course of its journey.

Taking the time to accept that the decision is mine, is the beginning of a rocket adjusting its course with slight bursts of air to change its trajectory. It’s the life altering point of its journey.

Change won’t be immediate, and you may barely feel the difference now. But with time, and only in hindsight, will you see how much your life course will change.

I strongly believe this single concept is the life altering point many of us have been looking for. We just expect change to be immediate. Release yourself from that expectation, because we won’t even know what change feels like. Change will mean something different, something new. Something new will be unfamiliar, meaning there’s no way we can know what to expect.

Take time to reflect on this concept. Apply it to everything that happens throughout your day, when you feel in control, and especially when things feel out of control. It will be difficult, but it will be empowering, because you will begin to have a sense of ownership, of responsibility. And often times, breaking out a loop and seeing outside your viewpoints, starts with even the smallest adjustment.

The decision is mine.

Image Credit: Photo by SpaceX on Unsplash