The title should actually be “Why James Can’t Build Habits.” Everything I’ve written so far about habits, change, mental challenges, etc. have been all directed towards myself. Ironically I’ve struggled to follow any of my own advice. I bet this is a common theme amongst many people who are trying to alter their day to day. There’s a lot of advice on the internet on how to do anything. Yet, so many of us struggle to actually apply any of it to our lives. It’s why Mel Robbins says that things are simple, but not easy.

Let’s jump right into an assessment of myself. By following along, you may be able to identify similar hurdles and make the first jump over it.

So why can’t James build habits? I’ve come up with a few reasons why some of my habits have not stuck. The example I will use is writing every day.

When I first decided to write every day, I just jumped right into stream of consciousness writing (sometimes referred to as free writing or morning pages). It was easy because I could start writing at any moment without needing any subject to write about. However, it became difficult after just a few days. I continually powered through each day, but I became frustrated with the practice and felt it was just dragging my mood down every time I wrote. This lead to the first problem with my approach.

I started writing only because it’s what others were doing. I kept reading about how successful people kept journals. I aimlessly decided to write. If you want to form a habit, you have to have a reason behind it. It needs to be stronger than “because I read about it and other successful people do it.” If you just follow others without knowing why, you will eventually stop. With the power of purpose, you will not rely on just your feelings or motivation.

For me, I want to write and journal because it has helped me put my thoughts in order. I have a million thoughts wandering around in my head, and the physical act of typing or writing out the thought helps to process my own thinking.

The next problem with my approach was that it was not scheduled. I planned to free write every morning at 9am. But more often than not, I never actually wrote at that time. Sometimes I’d write first thing when I woke up. Other days I’d write after working out. Some days it was after breakfast or even after lunch. Because my writing habit was not scheduled, it never became a routine. It became more like a chore, just something I had to do at some point in the day. By not scheduling the habit, we are actually saying that it’s not important enough to prioritize. In order for a habit to become routine, we must be able to give it value enough to prioritize. By sticking with the same time everyday, we then actually value the habit and create the routine.

The last problem I found with my approach was that it was not measured. When I first started, I told myself I’d write for 30 minutes a day. But I actually rarely wrote for the full 30 minutes. Some days I’d write just for 5 minutes. Yes, I got to say I wrote everyday, but was it just to give myself a pat on the back? This happened because I was not measuring my writing and because I did not have a clear purpose behind it.

So the few changes I’m going to be making moving forward with my habits are summarized below:

1. Know why you are forming a habit.
   • By giving purpose and a reason behind the habit, you do not rely on just feelings or motivation.
2. Schedule your habit.
   • By scheduling your habit, you are giving it value and prioritizing it.
3. Measure your habit.
   • By measuring your habit, you know exactly how well you are doing.
   • It also gives a clear goal to hit and a reason to celebrate when you do.

I believe adding these 3 pointers will help solidify my writing habit. I hope it will help solidify whatever habit you are trying to create as well.