It always annoyed me when I got some philosophical bullshit “there is no spoon” response to any question. What the hell is that supposed to mean anyways? That the world is actually not real and we’re all plugged into a machine imagining a bending spoon?

Yes, I learned eventually that the boy was trying to tell Neo that everything was in the mind. It was easy for me to nod my head along in agreement saying “oh yeah, totally. Everything is the mind. It all makes sense now.” But really, it didn’t make any sense to me.

That’s why I came back from my Southeast Asia trip wondering why everything felt exactly the same. My San Francisco world didn’t change at all while I was gone. And finally, months later, it clicked. I was still holding onto a damn spoon. I was expecting to return with a complete different view on the world, a deeper understanding that “there is no spoon.”

But really, now, I get that to understand this phrase, it’s a perspective change. It really is in the mind. I left hoping, wishing, praying that I’d have this miraculous perspective change when my head wasn’t willing to change at all. No matter how differently I wanted to view something, it was still my same mind processing everything.

I’m blabbing, this is very long winded, so I’m just going to stop for today. This is the beauty of writing for myself. This isn’t making any more sense to me, therefore, it must really be confusing for you. Let’s try again tomorrow.