I just gave my 1 month notice to my employer. I feel great. I am on cloud 9. I have nothing planned for the future. In the last couple months I thought I would move to Singapore, Australia, Vietnam, San Francisco, Chicago, or DC. I also thought I’d hike the Pacific Coast Trail. I thought I’d just travel for a few months.

Almost everyone told me to find a job before I quit. That i’d be even more stressed without having anything lined up. And yes, that is true. In fact, I think the most important thing to remember here is that no matter how happy or relieved I feel now, there will come a time when I am just as miserable as I was yesterday.

Such is life. Life is sorrowful and leads to disorder if left to its own devices. Which is odd, since in order for life to start, there needed to be atoms that randomly decided to organize themselves to create the first cell. And those cells had to merge to eventually become the first organism. Strange, eh?

I’m leaving this job on my own terms. My entire life, I’ve gotten input for every major decision I’ve made. And I made them without thinking about the most important thing. What do I want to do and will it make me happy? Moving forward, I will make decisions with my input being the highest value. And if it goes south, then I will deal with it. If it goes north, then I will deal with it. Life will continue moving whether you’re going with the current, against the current, or slumped underwater begging for it all to stop.

Living is not easy. At all. As I was growing up, I thought it was supposed to get easier. When i’m considered cool and have lots of friends. When I get a job. When I get promoted. When I make more money. When I manage a team. After I travel. After I find a girlfriend. After I move to some new city.

It never got easier. It only got worse. I was fighting battles for all the wrong reasons… for what society and culture have trained me to think was being successful.

Not anymore. Everything I’ve done has lead me to this point and I accept that. This was my fate, if you will. Every decision I made, right or wrong, I did it and it brought me here. To this very moment of writing some long ass blog that maybe a few people will read.

I quit living life for others and being consumed by what others think. I’m going to start finding out what it means to live for myself. And if I have to start by quitting and being an unemployed 35 year old single guy having no idea who he is, then so be it. Amor fati, my friends. I’m moving outside my well. (HA, you like that plug???)